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Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Squire Gabby and the Sheep with the Golden Wool

Part II: Sailing the Sea of Peril
continued from Monday June 6, 2005 Click Here for Start of Story

As the sun arose the next morning they awoke and saw the narrow Siren Passage in the misty distance. All four of the knights longed for the chance to hear the beautiful singing of the sirens but knew the folly of such a move as the singing was designed to lure ships toward the music, causing the ships to crash on to the treacherous rocks that guarded the shore. Once a ship crashed on the reef the sirens would cease their singing and run out to the boats where they would steal the cargo and kill and eat the occupants of the unfortunate boat. But, as usual, the quick witted little Squire Gabby, proposed a plan. She got some chains and locks and chained each of the Knights securely to the mast of the boat. She then plugged her ears and the ears of the crew with wax so they could not hear the Siren's song. In this way the four Knights could hear the beautiful song but, being chained up, could not steer the boat toward shore, while Squire Gabby and the crew calmly sailed straight through the narrow passage. In fact it was so peacful and relaxing that, once through the passage, Squire Gabby left the wax in her ears and left the Knights chained up for the rest of the trip. As she would later tell, this was the best part of the trip!

Soon they landed at their destination at the far end of the Sea of Peril. They tied the boat up at the beginning of the road to the Land of the Sheep with the Golden Wool which also happened to be in a place called Land of Lazy Soda Drinkers. This was as slovenly place inhabited by a race of tiny, fierce warriors, the Lazy Soda Drinkers. The Lazy Soda Drinkers attacked, robbed and killed everyone in sight. When not attacking and fighting the Lazy Soda Drinkers would sit around drinking sodas and tossing the bottles and cans on the ground. The four Knights suited up in their armour with lances and swords in hand. Before the boat even docked they had mounted their horses and charged off the boat to fight the Lazy Soda Drinkers. Squire Gabby waited until the boat had docked and was securely tied up before disembarking with her mule. After making arrangements for the crew and boat to wait there for their return she set about collecting the discarded bottles and cans that literally covered Land of Lazy Soda Drinkers.

While the four Knights set about restoring law and order to Land of Lazy Soda Drinkers by dispatching the Lazy Soda Drinkers and then moving on to further adventures down the road, Squire Gabby traversed the road back and forth between Land of Lazy Soda Drinkers and the Acme Bottle Exchange and Supply Depot where she exchanged the bottles and cans she had collected for gold florians and silver tallers. Amassing more floriens and tallers than she could carry, Squire Gabby found a hollow tree tree near the boat, but well hidden, and stashed her treasures. She then made one final trip to the Acme Bottle Exchange and Supply Depot where she exchanged a couple of florians and a big wad of Sir Esteban's coupons (which he had left behind, being loaded down with his sword, lance, mace, battle ax and dagger) for food and supplies for the rest of the trip. She then proceeded along the peaceful road that led out from Acme Bottle Exchange and Supply Depot and joined the main road between the House of the Medusa and Grazing Lands of the Centeaurs.

Meanwhile the four Knights, having established order in the Land of the Lazy Soda Drinkers, proceeded down the road to the Land of the Hydra. The Hydra were a race of fierce creatures who never lost a fight because every time an opponant chopped off their arm or head a hundered more arms or heads instantly grew on them. The only way to kill such a creature would be to stab it straight in the heart (it is hard enough to stab an opponent with a sword when the opponant has a sword fighting you, but when the opponent has one hundred arms, with a sword in each, reaching the creature's heart can be quite difficult). However, our four brave Knights charged in to the Land of the Hydra and, after many hours of fierce fighting, emerged victorious.

With Squire Gabby being nowhere in sight, the Knights picked up their blood stained weapons and, leaving the field littered with the bodies of the dead Hydra, proceeded on to the Land of the Cyclops.

Now the Cyclops are an even grosser race of creatures. They are huge, ugly creatures that love nothing better than to crush and eat humans. The bodies of the Cyclops are covered with a thick scaly skin that is too tough for a sword or spear to penetrate. Their hands consist of huge, strong claws which are used to tear their victims apart. Their only weakness comes form the fact that they have only one eye in the middle of their foreheads and this limits their ability to see. This eye is also the only soft spot on their bodies where, if one is lucky enough, a sword or spear can penetrate and kill the Cyclops. Having no fear, our four Knightly heros spured their horses on and charged into the Cyclops guarding the road. Again the four Knights fought long and hard. Hours later they again emerged, unscathed, on the other side of the field of battle. Behind the four Knights lay a field littered with the dead bodies of the evil Cyclops.

Leaving the Land of the Cyclops and continuing down the road they ran into Squire Gabby. She was sitting on the road next to a stone marker warning all travelers to turn around and not enter the area of the House of the Medusa.

The Medusa is a wicked, ugly, lady-like creature standing about ten feet tall. It looks like a human except for the fact that growing out of its head are poisoness snakes instead of hair. But the real danger of the Medusa is not the snakes or its great height. Rather it is the fact that it destroys its enemies (which is every other living thing on the planet) by looking at them with its evil eyes and turning them into stone. This posed quite a problem to our Knights as it would be impossible to destroy such a creature by sheer might and courage. After cleaning up and having a good meal, our four brave Knights sat down and tried to think up a strategy for destroying the Medusa. Squire Gabby had a plan all worked out but, since she was only a Squire, she was not allowed to attend the meeting. The four Knights thought all day and all night. Finally they gave up and called Squire Gabby over to present her plan. Her plan was simple - she would creep down the road in the middle of the night while the Medusa slept. When she was just outside the door of the Medusa's house she would quietly set up a large mirror (which she had acquired at the Acme Bottle Exchange and Supply Depot by taking advantage of a sale and tripple off coupon offer) just outside the door. At dawn she would call the Medusa. When the Medusa answered her call and walked out the door, it would see itself in the mirror and be turned into stone. Of course each of the Knights wanted the honor of setting up the mirror but Squire Gabby insisted it was her right since the mirror was hers. In the end she ended up sneaking down under the cover of darkness.

In the eirie silence of the dark, moonless night it was very scary as Squire Gabby silently crawled down the road to the House of the Medusa. Just before dawn Squire Gabby had everything in place. As the sun flooded the valley with light Squire Gabby called to the Medusa who, as planned, charged out of her door and suddenly found herself face to face with her own ugly image in the mirror. Upon seeing the ugly sight she was instantly turned to stone and ceased to be a threat to anyone.

Word of the great deeds of our four brave Knights and their trusty little Squire spread quickly ahead of them. By the time the party reached the Grazing Land of the Centaurs (strange creatures that looked like horses but had arms and heads like humans) the road was open with no Centaurs in sight. Normally the Centaurs would have put up a fight. And fierce fighters they were being able to run as fast as a horse and shoot arrows or weild swords as well as any warrior. But today the Centeaurs had elected to take the day off and visit the other side of the mountain that bounded their area. To be continued...

Come back on Friday, June 10, 2005 for the exciting conclusion of our story.

Copyright © 2005 by Charles & Victor Nugent

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