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Monday, June 06, 2005

Squire Gabby and the Sheep with the Golden Wool

Part I: The Troubador's Tale

Once upon a time Sir David, Sir Esteban, Sir Victor and Sir Adan were sitting around Soggy Meadow Castle bored and wondering what to do. They had slain all the dragons in the kingdom, defeated all the witches in the area, exterminated the gargoyles and eliminated all other types of undesirables. Having nothing better to do they simply sat around reminiscing about the good old days six months ago. Only little squire Gabby was gainfully occupied, as usual, polishing the armor and setting the table for dinner.

They heard the ringing of the bell at the castle gate and immediately dispatched squire Gabby to investigate. She opened the massive doors, lowered the drawbridge and was greated by a wandering troubador looking for dinner. Sir David said the troubador could stay for dinner provided he entertained them with good tales. Sir Esteban then dispatched squire Gabby to set an extra place at the table and pour some water in the soup to accomodate the extra mouth at the table. At dinner the troubador told many exciting tales but captured everyone's, except squire Gabby who was busy scrubbing the empty soup pot and bowls, attention with his tale of a distant land where sheep grew wool of pure gold on their backs. All four knights knew that they could supplement their allowances much better selling clothes made from golden wool than from recycling slain dragons. They sat up far into the night getting every scrap of information they could about how to reach this far away land.

After locating its approximate position on their big map, Sir Esteban managed to construct a detailed map showing the route from Soggy Meadow Castle to the land of the sheep with the golden wool. Since troubadors are known for their skills in poetry rather than cartography, the resulting diagram was more a picture poem than a map. But


Start: Soggy Meadow Castle

Go South to: Great Sea to the South

Sail Through: Siren Passage

To: Sea of Peril

Dock at: Land of Lazy Soda Drinkers

Get Supplies at: Acme Bottle Exchange & Supply Depot

(Note: Cars and Squires on mules may take scenic, paved road to right to avoid Cyclops, Hydra and other assorted
creatures – Trucks over 1 ton and knights in heavy
armor must use main dirt road)

Advance to: Land of Cyclops

Proceed to: Land of Hydra
Ride to: Grazing Lands of Centaurs

Turn Left and go to: Home of Medusa

Climb up and over: The Pillers of the Sky

Turn Right and saunter toward: Land of the Sheep with the Golden Wool

Early the next morning the four knights roused themselves from their slumber, descended to the dining room, seated themselves comfortably and proceeded to consume a hearty breakfast (the troubador simply woke up and started eating). Squire Gabby had the armour and weapons packed and the hourses saddled. Immediately after breakfast they mounted their hourses and rode out. Since the troubador had nothing better to do they left him behind to watch the castle while they were gone.

After they had traveled for a few hours they met a dragon in the middle of the road. Sir Adan, being the most junior knight, rode out to slay it. He fought a fierce battle with the dragon, who breathed fire on the shield so often that the shield became warped. But finally, as he reared up to shower flames down upon him, he lunged at the exposed mid section and ran his sword through the dragon's heart, killing him. As he lay smouldering in the middle of the road, the party, led by Sir David, mounted on his great white charger, rode on around him. Squire Gabby brought up the rear on her mule. As they rode along the effecient little squire hammered the shield back into shape, scoured the burn marks off the shield and armor and cleaned the green dragon's blood from Sir Adan's mighty battle sword.

Soon they reached the port at the Sea of Peril and began negotiating to purchase a boat. Sir Victor found a leaky old tub and crew for 150 gold florians but, before closing the deal, Squire Gabby rummaged through her coupon pouch and found a manufacturer's coupon good for ten gold florians off the purchase price. Since it was a double coupon dealer they were able to knock another ten gold florians off and got the entire package for 130 gold florians. As soon as they left the dock Squire Gabby served supper and they ate as they sailed into the sunset. To be continued...

Come back on Wednesday, June 8, 2005 for Part II of this story.

Copyright © 2005 by Charles & Victor Nugent

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